Gym Contemplations

The gym is such an odd place to go. Don’t you think? As I am there, pumping iron, so to speak, I often find myself contemplating the whole process of going to the gym. It is a petri dish of examples of the human experience. For a number of reasons… and surely I intend to outline some of them for you :)

1: Adaptability. Think about it. We are animals. We have muscles. Centuries ago we used to run around, climb, hunt, dig, fight. etc… you name it, we used to do it. Man, can you imagine how many sexy humans would have been walking around!? Our bodies would have been toned to the nines. But now, in this automated, processed, delivered, and convenient lives we live, we do not have the need to do all of these things that would keep us so shredded. So… as we move away from necessary physical exertion, and towards a stagnant and inactive life, we hear the call of our muscles. We have adapted to a shrinking, if not non-existent, world of physical demand. Evolution of building muscle.

2. Ego. Classic. I just love seeing people stare at themselves in the mirror and give a quick flex and a wink… “hey baby, how you doin?” Here we move away from the base-level call from our muscles to be formed and tightened and towards an inflation of the ego. “Dayam I look good! I am definitely going to get some action tonight!” Our culture says that the more shredded you are, the more abs you have, the more successful you will be, be it in the office or bedroom. I am sure this goes back to caveman times when the bravest and toughest rented the most wombs.

3. Ignorance. Really?! Did you have to throw those weights? Do you realize that there is a yoga class going on downstairs. Do you care? That sign right there says. “Please do not drop your weights!” Perhaps when you bend down to pick up your weights you will see it… oh wait, you don’t actually pick up your weights, which brings me to 4.

4. Discipline. Didn’t your mother (or father) tell you to clean up? Perhaps to put things away after you use them? What ever happened to the collective willingness to keep things tidy… did it ever exist? I can only imagine what these people’s homes look like… I hated being nagged to clean up my room, the kitchen, the yard, etc. I see the value now. We are all owners of this planet, and many lack the discipline to keep it orderly.

5. Rage. “Aaaarrgrrrrrrrraaaaaaahhhhhhh!!” Says the dude pumping more weight than he should (right before he drops it all, naturally). The Grunts. The Growls. The Moans. Sure, blood is coursing through your veins… but what’s with the Werewolf sounds? Are you mad at the world? What did the dumbbell ever do to you? I often wonder if these growlers can even hear themselves. Maybe it helps to lift. Perhaps I should try it, maybe I will build more muscle. Perhaps there is even a Muscle-to-Growl ratio… perhaps there is a Thesis here.

6. Attraction. Let’s face it… with all that ego-boosting muscle building, our hormones are at peak vibration. After a quick glance at the reflection… it’s off to the races. We see those toned bodies, those tight pants, and those muscle shirts. We leave sweat traces all over the place and heat clouds surround us, surely this sends those pheromones out further to the gym universe. It can sometimes be a cesspool or sexual tension.

7…8…9… Surely there are more. :) Food for thought.



One thought on “Gym Contemplations

  1. Cool list, I made a similar one recently. You’re giving me more ideas for a part 2 ;-)

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